An essay on how Gabe’s death affected my faith @DoubleX

The other day, as I was deep into a sprint marathon editing project, I sent a query to a Slate sister site that I’ve enjoyed called DoubleX.com. I received word back within a couple hours that my query would be published. I offered to rewrite it, but the editor assured me my submission was fine. I’m not crazy about the title that was chosen either, as I really wouldn’t say my faith is stronger (The title is: “How My Son’s Suicide Strengthened My Faith”); I’d say it’s decimated in some respects, but solidified fundamentally. Such is the writer’s life. Here’s how the essay starts.

In the 19 months since my 23-year-old son Gabriel died by suicide, my faith has been transformed dramatically. As an evangelical Christian, I hold to the doctrine that we are “saved by faith through grace alone.” Nothing we do adds to or detracts from a believer’s position in Christ.

Gabriel, who was also an evangelical Christian, was struggling with many issues and questions in his life—some of them precipitated by his experience at a premier evangelical college, some by our family’s experience of being whistleblowers at a California megachurch, some a result of compromised health, some stemming from both relational and cultural issues.

Because Gabe was not in a good place at the time of his death, his suicide challenged my basic understanding of the Gospel. …

You can read the rest here.